Get Help For Yourself

Get Help for Yourself

Signs you may be in an abusive relationship. Does your partner:

  • Check the calls made on your cell phone?
  • Check your e-mails?
  • Call or text you all the time to check up on you?
  • Tell you how to dress?
  • Act jealous or suspicious when you go out?
  • Yell at you?
  • Call you names?
  • Push and/or hit you?
  • Not allow you to see certain people?
  • Punch walls?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may want to find ways to change the balance in that relationship. A healthy relationship is made with two healthy people, who have good boundaries and communication skills.

If you would like to talk to someone about making changes, call us.
You are not alone.
1-902-543-3999 or toll free 1-888-543-3999

Make a Safety Plan

Harbour House has prepared this Safety Plan checklist for preparing to leave an abusive relationship. If you would like our support with this process, you can contact us or visit the shelter and our team will create a personalized safety plan with you.
902-543-3999 | 1-888-543-3999

Checklist for preparing to leave an abusive relationship

  • Have ready several places you can go if you have to flee your home; with friends, family, the local shelter or police.
  • List people who might help you if you leave. Whether it be someone to confide in, someone to help you travel, someone to store some belongings for you, or to allow you to stay. Remember you can plan to store belongings somewhere safe so that you can take things over gradually while you are planning to leave.
  • How can you take your children safely? There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to be able to protect yourself in order to protect your children. It is important to consider speaking to family court regarding custody.
  • Practice ways to get out of your home safely. Think about safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is about to happen, try to get your abuser to one of those safer places.
  • Think about how you might leave; your own car, taxi, transport, or a friend? Try doing things that get you out of the house. Also practice how you might leave the house, and where exactly you might go.
  • Put together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you get. Include important paperwork, sentimental items, some clothing, and some cash if possible.
  • Have important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Police, friends and the local shelter should be on that list.
  • Tell someone you trust what is happening. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises.
  • If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word you can use when you need help. Let them know they are not responsible for the violence.
  • Make plans for your pets.
  • Get a cell phone.
  • Have your cell phone charged and ready, also your charger. If you do not have a cell phone, have small change to make calls from a payphone.
  • Open a bank account in your name only, or get a credit card in your name only. Have statements sent to a different address, or online only.
  • Park your car where it cannot be blocked, and keep it fuelled.
  • Maintain your safety, you still need to be cautious.

Checklist if your abuser leaves:

  • Change the locks, and add security to your home. Consider putting in stronger doors and locks, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system, and outside lights.
  • Get a protection order. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, anyone who takes care of your children, their schools, and your boss. Make sure you contact the police if the protection order has been violated. Your local shelter can help you with the application process.
  • Tell your friends and neighbours your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to phone the police if they see or hear anything suspicious or violent.
  • Tell someone at work what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls if possible. Consider how you will get to and from work, school, or anywhere public safely.
  • Have the number of someone trusted you can call when you are feeling down.

If you would like to talk to someone about making changes, call us. You are not alone.
1-902-543-3999 or toll free 1-888-543-3999.